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Lessons from Disappointments

1/29/2021

2 Comments

 
I was fortunate to grow up in a musical family with a very creative mother.  She could make things happen, not just for her own children, but for anyone else who happened to be standing around.  Because of her wonderful talents, she could take regular folks and make them feel like they could do anything --- sing, dance, paint scenery, sew costumes, write scripts, and so forth. In short, my mother was great at helping people gain confidence in themselves.  And she was right there making them look good ---- usually from the PIANO BENCH.  For example, she was always producing SHOWS --- for school groups, church groups, community groups, the neighborhood kids, her piano and voice students, as well as her own family.  People loved her and were drawn to her, not just because of her marvelous talents, but because she genuinely LOVED PEOPLE. 
PictureCarolyn Lee with 5 of her 6 kids at Christmas in Ohio
Her immense talents could pose trouble for her children, though.  Many times, we were passed over for special opportunities.  Then, the "people in charge" felt that they had to explain. "Well, obviously your daughter (or son) was the most talented or qualified for this, but she will always have opportunities in her life.  That's why we chose ________ instead."  Because our family moved around the country a lot, the "people in charge" never saw that these "special opportunities" didn't really materialize for us.

I always wondered why the "people in charge" felt compelled to say things like that.  Why didn't they just post the cast list?  Why come to us to try to justify themselves in making their choice?  It didn't make any of us feel better ---- quite the reverse. 

Even in college, I ran into "people in charge" who acted this same way.  For instance, I had auditioned for and been chosen to go on European tour as a singer with the jazz band.  Then just before we were to leave, the "person in charge" came to me and said, "You are just too pretty and too good a singer for us.  We have decided that you can't go after all."   (I suppose that had that happened in more recent times, I would have been encouraged to bring up sexual harassment charges against him.  But, we didn't know about things like that back then. I didn't even think I was all that pretty!)

Thank goodness, I was raised by a mother who instilled in us that we can grow from our disappointments --- even if we must use our God-given talents along different avenues.  I may never know why I was passed over for so many desirable special opportunities in my life, but, I know enough about disappointments that I can go on despite them.



2 Comments
Jill Hadfield
2/1/2021 05:56:36 pm

Your mother did exactly what you described for the wards and even tiny little branches in the new Dayton, Ohio Stake. Most of those groups had never even seen a roadshow, let alone participate in one. Carolyn was just magical with those folks and we had a fabulous Roadshow Festival with all units participating. One tiny branch had about 80% of the branch participate. This was not the point of your piece, but working with Carolyn was unforgettable! She changed those people's lives!

Reply
Betsy L Bailey link
2/1/2021 07:35:27 pm

Jill,
I remember the Roadshow Festival you mentioned. Mom loved going into the tiny branches and pulling a performance out of them. That year, so many of our parents were busy helping the other wards and branches on a Stake level, that they were not really available for our ward's show. So, we teenagers wrote and directed our own show. We had a grand time pretending we were just like Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland. "We can do it! Let's do our own show!"
The funny thing is that so many of us went on to be professional actors, writers, composers, dancers and producers. Who could have known. That was a great training ground for us.

Reply



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    My name is Betsy Bailey.  I have sung, written and taught music all of my life.  I enjoy writing and directing Children's Theater shows.  This blog will be directed to topics on creating the magic of Children's Theater.  I would love to hear your comments!

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